Just a little piece of emotion

Assalammualaikum.

Bismillahirahmannirahim.

This is actually happening. do you even think that im that stupid to really not know what you've been doing? i've known you since like 3 years? and i doubt that there's nobody else knows you that well like i. and hahaha im freaking selfish. i dont even care about you. please la open your mind and think wider. if i do not care about you

*i wont get freaked out when i heard those rumours  about (oh i really dont want to talk about it here) and tried so hard to actually protected you. to jaga maruah kau. to show to people yang you're actually a one good naive girl who have been played by that guy.

*didnt you think that i actually stayed for you even if i dont want to? i made a risk. just because i dont want you to go all emo moody and stuff. sumpah aku sanggup maafkan kau even kau tak cakap sorry pun sbb things so small you wouldnt even care because apa? the value of friendship that i really dont want to lose because apa? because i love you, my friend.

kalau aku tegur kau, kau rasa aku apa? over-protective? duh its what i do, i should do. i scolded you, i yell at you. who else will tell you the same thing? haih i adjusted myself to macam terima lah kau seadanya maybe it will make things a lot easier. do you not know me? do u think i even want this? i already said from the beginnning that things would end up this way. you would end up pilih your boyfriend yang macam tahi tu oh sumpah skrg aku bengang. im sorry if you dont think im the goodie friend that u think i am, well then screw you. macam mana boleh fikir macam tu.

inikah maksud kau yang aku tak care langsung? inikah maksud kau "bila hilang cari, bila ada depan mata tak layan" THIS? oh ainaa dia tu tak kisah la pasal kau, dia nak her way je. tak fikir orang lain rasa apa. well, think again.

this is whats best. well you dont think that for sure, because precisely 'you dont know a thing' haha heads up man. you'll see what i see one day. this maybe a joke to you and u really think im bodoh of what im doing. its not a fact of im doing it, its the ending part that counts which lama lagi akan sampai kot. its up to you la. im not a fool fucekek. im just a friend who take responsibilities cause haha who else yang akan buat macam ni? i afraid no one because tak ada pun yg kisah weh. kawan byk mana pun, they wouldnt care.

haha gila la, this makes me look stupid. hm just taking it out but im not gonna make this blog into a complain trash hehe

Just a quick update post from tempat kerja.

berat turun. 40kg. imagine tinggi i 162cm if im not mistaken. tak normal okay. my berat supposed to be 46kg!

say im being paranoid. say im getting worried over small little thing. say whatever you want.
bila berat dah turun, so do my mood. im upset. im not happy.

i need to gain my weight as soon as possible. being extremely skinny is not a good thing dear friends.

p/s : tak sakit apa apa. genetic maybe. metabolism tinggi. oh why me -.-'

a dedicated post

IT WAS SUHASAM BIRTHDAY!

Dear Amira Nasuha ma girl,

great to hear that you enjoyed your birthday and our suprises. hehehe i may not say this often but i love you so much eventho i barely show it in front of you. i may say you're bodoh, bangang, bungak, sengal tapi kau la kawan that can never be replaced. i will never find someone like you out there because you're so one in a million. dont kembang! i hate to see kau mengembang hahaha man you're getting old! hm ok i know im older. so, someone once said to me that his best age was in teenage life so keep living your life as you wish to live it and every year will be the best year for you. genap next year 5 tahun kita kawan. 5 years which is full with happiness. i really hope you'll be there whenever i need you. dont ever leave me! hurmph i sounds so tapir-ish hahaha dah la penat aku tulis panjang2 hahaha love you till the end of the world! xoxoxo sejuta kali! 

p/s : pakai hadiah tu hari hari hehehehehehe

Mood swings

I dont know why i am feeling this way. i have mood swings almost always. i cry for no reason. like, i can sit  by myself, think about something terrible and i start to cry. i keep thinking about the past andi get angry at just the little things.. am i having depression? but why?!?! even for the slightest thing like he reply late to my texts, watching masterchef, seeing my cats sleeping and there i go again, crying. hm i cant even remember what i used to enjoy doing also.

am i turning into a vampire? oh god, for real la im not joking!! ^^


i dont know la if this thing perlu ada kena mengena dgn how i feel lately. just, i feel very unwanted, not needed, being ignored. the pain of being ignored is really no joke ok. saya nak hidup macam org lain jugak. sangat bahagia dgn that somebody. but that somebody.. just cant seem to be there when i need that somebody. but somehow i already get used to that somebody punya style. nvm. really. feeling unwanted. umph apa pulak tak best (:

I feel like writing, so.

Yesterday was just another ordinary day that i spent with my girls. oh and lissa also, theera's cousin. we laugh, we sing, we scream, we eat, we dance, we talk, we hug. at first we tried to fill in the awkward moment with main  Saidina. it was quite fun for 10minutes but tetibe semua dah cam hilang mood. so okay. simpan then me and aqila try to cheer up ourself with karaoke-ing. tunggang langgang pecah semua cermin. okay that part cam best sebab i enjoyed singing and dancing like a lunatic psycho. then we called Dominos. makan makan makan then, perut dah kenyang suka hati baru masing masing  borak with each other. we slept at 4am. oh chop, anis sorang tidur pukul 6am -.-'

the next morning, i tgh syok dibuai mimpi indah(?) terkejut sebab apa tah, bangun then nampak semua orang dah bangun. and i was terkebil-kebil "awalnya korang bangun?" "naa tengok pukul berapa dah ni" hehehe my bad. brunch, mandi semua, masing masing think3 apa nak buat lepas ni. and kitaorang plan pak rumah tra pulak. so okay, here we are, in uncle arshad's house! then lunch dekat kimbong. perut dah ponoh, balik, guling guling macam dugung. bila dah memang got nothing to do, everyone decided to balik. kisses, hugs so here i am, wearing my beloved pyjamas in my bersepah yet lovely room.

I am thinking about going to bed early tonight. enough feeding my diplodocus's belly. you're getting fatter lah!

I miss teh, i cried. 

This is a warning : this post will be awfully long. yeah ye shuckers.


The school holiday already began. its always ended up like this, i was very excited when i heard holidays was just around the corner but then, bila dah holiday. i.got.no.better.things.to.do.than.spending.most of my time.in.front.of.the.laptop. bet everyone's feeling the same way.....

so, not a waste of space. i wud like to share what i've been up to since last week hehe put your glasses on! zz

Me and suha, atheera, anis, adila, qila made this jumble sale thingy and it was great we succeded in getting a lotz of money haha alhamdullilah. guess we've lost our mind sebab we plan it just for 2 days and its on. imagine, a zillion lot of tops needed to get some umm what is it called eh, ah nvm. so we decided to make an event on facebook to let them (as in, friends) know. we made fliers and give it to random fellas. how on earth we managed to actually done that all in 2days. umph so proud of myself *batting eyelashes*

Then, on 13th nov, atheera's abang wedding dinner! gila g! i was one of the receptionist. kerja me, bawa guests pergi table and etc. at first gila kabut sebab ramai orang datang at one time so kitaorang ada 8 orang je, kabut kejap je la. because ainaa came to rescue muahaha so happy dapat tolong the bride and groom jayakan their wedding. both of them are really meant to be together, live long and make lot of adorable babies abang chadlie and kak yana! hihihihi seronok tengok orang kahwin. when la will my time come..... hihi ^^

On 15th nov, me anis atheera and alan went too zoo negara! yiaaaaah yippie yahuu i finally got to meet my friends! hello elephant, monkeys. cute birdies, crocodile, tigers and all lah! gila pe nak list sekor sekor. hehe i was like dan...cing...on... air...happily..... hihihi but yeah, hari rabu kan so zoo tu macam krik krik sikit la tapi ramai foreigner, wooot ada this one dude handcem. anis gonna make him hers one day. she even had a picture of him! im going to mandrem him or somewhat to make he likes anis back hahahaha plis dont take it seriously.  so pictures may start talking now

banyak lagi sebenarnya tapi hang gila pa nak upload smua kat sini. hehe so okay, till then!

Talk to me, im all ears.

Hello hi now im free! finals are over and school break almost started in a few more days. oh wait damn, result. result. macam. macam. tahi. oh please ignore my result. anggap lah i tak pernah ambil exam -.-' pathetic me.

It was a good idea to go to school today. because why? well it felt like sekolah itu aku yang punya hahahaha it was so quite and peace! kriks sound was all i heard. screamed, laughed wont make a big deal. lepak lepak dekat canteen with the teachers wont be a problem. gosh how i wish hari hari skolah macam tu. kan heaven! but still, there's still a lot of unsettled things. organise lawatan sekolah sangat sangat penat and give a lot of pressure. but somehow, its fun.

Yeah, these days im stepping into a new era, totally my rules of life are twisting like.... wake up early in the morning and then straight to take a shower. plus, kurung-ing myself in my room, reading my mates tweets, online facebook, watch dramas. i still have tons of dramas i havent watch but should!. bekalan for this holiday i guess, lorgh i just make myself look like one of those pathetic cavegirls!! naaaaaaah, im still living in my buitipul life :D